“Say, you want to go to the movies today?”
Andrew is practicing his left wink in the mirror while brushing his teeth. In the bedroom, Sarah–already dressed in her grey pantsuit–is folding laundry. The bed is always made three minutes right after Andrew gets up. Everything is in order.
“You know I hate those Blockbuster sellouts,” Andrew starts gargling and then he spits.
“I’m free after four,” she raises her voice.
“We can go to the animal shelter again,” Andrew walks towards her with a towel in his hands. “We can do our ‘research’ on cats.”
He hands Sarah his dirty towel. She turns around and smiles. “Or, we can make an actual appointment at the adoption center.”
Andrew kisses her cheek and goes to the kitchen.
He has married her on a dare: it was time to do something he has never done before. After three years of on-and-off dating, which meant he only called her once a month–sometimes once every two months–for a happy ending, they are celebrating their five-year anniversary today. Sarah would always oblige to sex, a good companion, which is why they are so compatible. She usually cooked his favorite meal afterwards: chopped baked potatoes and lean beef with a splash of lemon and vinegar. Now, Sarah only cooks that tasteless meal on Sundays.
They first met at a fancy bar, Imagine. Imagine was a hit hangout place for corporate slaves during its time, decorated like a secret garden–very romantic. It’s closed now. It was outdoor and its location was convenient for afterwork release. Andrew was invited to his friend’s work party. Free booze, who doesn’t like that?
He saw Sarah immediately. She was wearing a light pink backless dress with magenta loop earrings. A mismatch, but it worked for her. Sarah was holding a bottle of Heineken and she was talking to Andrew’s friend. They were introduced and sat down together on a daybed sofa. The moments were perfectly timed for them to interact; she laughed at his jokes, he listened to her complaints.
Andrew took some pills before he came so he didn’t remember telling Sarah that the moon looked like his butt. He also pointed at the stars, blabbering that they were “infinite gifts of the universe” and started saying that Black Holes are created to make only humans’ souls disappear and not animals. Before she left, Sarah said, “I like you a lot, but my friend over there already tagged you.”
Andrew called her the next morning. With his sleepy voice, he said, “You’re it.”
They went on seven dates before Andrew slept with her. She resisted at first, because of her friend, and they kept it a secret. She wore matching leopard bra and panties that Thursday night. It was her who slept with him.
After that, their meet ups were regular, like getting a period: once a month. Sarah never minded. She had several other suitors, but none matched Andrew’s cockiness.
Whenever they were in bed, they never had any serious talks about anything, they were good at unrevealing their emotions. They skipped the part where they shared their dreams and insecurities. Instead, they would pretend to be incest lovers. Sometimes Mickey and Minnie Mouse, or Elmo and Eeyore. Their favorite was him playing Patrick Bateman’s American Pscyho and Sarah playing Regina George from Mean Girls. They still do role-plays sometimes, although now mostly the sex simply consists of her being on top.
Sarah follows Andrew to the kitchen. “The waiting list can take years, we’re just putting our names on the form. It’s really nothing.”
“That Sean Connery movie is playing,” he sits down on the stool. “You like that old fool.”
Standing at the opposite of the kitchen island, Sarah sighs. “We might not even get called a year from now!”
“Then what’s the point?” Andrew asks.
Sarah wore a black strapless dress on their wedding day. When Andrew saw her, he knew he wasn’t making a mistake. The ceremony was small and fast. They rented a bungalow at Colorado Springs and spent the days lounging and role-playing. When they came back to Denver, he finally gave in and fell in love with her.
Sarah goes back to the bedroom, grabs her phone and starts typing. Tonight sounds good. 5 works?
“You know what, I gotta work late again today,” she shouts.
Andrew glances at their Hawaii vacation photo hanging on the wall. If they have a baby, it would be cute as hell. Probably with her eyes and his lips, perhaps with light brown hair. There’s nothing wrong with bringing a newborn in this world, Andrew has once said, but she wanted to help the ones who are already in the world.
Andrew pours black coffee and adds a sprinkle of brown sugar. He takes it to Sarah, who is sitting on the bed. She is still busy with her phone.
“You would look cute when you’re pregnant,” he sits next to her and gives her the coffee. “Your boobs would be enormous.”
“Like they’re not already,” she laughs, putting her phone on lock mode.
He lingers to her and they kiss. They kiss without tongue, just longer smacks and pecks on each other’s lips. They kiss for a while, becoming aware of each other’s physical presence. Sarah finally stops, putting the cup on the nightstand. She holds Andrew’s jaws with both hands, forcing him to make eye contacts. “Please don’t forget to pick up the milk and watermelon.”
Sarah gets up and Andrew slaps her butt. “Make the dough, mi amor.”
She laughs and goes to the front door, grabbing her car keys. “I’ll try to get off work as fast as I could.”
Andrew walks right behind her, trying to catch her hips. Sarah stops walking. She waits for him, standing still. She pulls his hands closer, surrounding her hips. Andrew starts playing with her stomach.
“I’m late,” she says. “And maybe we can just go to the pet store later? I want to play with that baby German Shepherd again.”
“Gonzo? He’s a cute little bastard,” he kisses her cheek from behind. “You know, I don’t mind walking him around the block or two.”
Andrew finally lets her go. When she opens the door, Andrew can see the roundness of the sun. Brighter than the moon, it also looks like a butt. He could pick out Sarah’s butt in a crowd at a farmer’s market, or anywhere, really. And that is one of his infinite talents of the universe, he likes to think so.
Note: Featured image above is taken from Slint.